BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
my nose is crying tears of wow.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
Randomize
