you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
Randomize
