Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
Randomize
