I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
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