We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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