Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
Randomize
