Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
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