I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
Randomize
