I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
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