i think i have herpe
just one?
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
I FOUND THE LEGS
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Randomize
