So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
Dignity is for republicans.
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
You made out with two different species that night
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
Randomize
