I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
