i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
I just sucked dick on a ferry
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
