i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
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