Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Randomize
