I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
All I want is dick and wine.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
Randomize
