I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
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