My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
Randomize
