Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
