Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
