if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Randomize
