And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
Randomize
