if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize