There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
we should paint friendship bongs
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