Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
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