broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
