dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
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