dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
Randomize
