Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
