Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
Randomize
