Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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