If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
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