is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
it was like eating out sand paper
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
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