I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
Randomize
