You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Randomize
