Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
Randomize
