i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
