Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Randomize
