My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize