i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
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