:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Randomize
