a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
Randomize
