Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
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