your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
The cops high fived after they tackled you
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
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