We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
Randomize
