He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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