Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
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