i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
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