You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
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