were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Randomize