You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Randomize
