i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
Randomize
