a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
My boob is missing a layer of skin
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
Randomize
