I wish Morgan Freeman narrated my life.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
17 year olds will be the death of me.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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