oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
Randomize
