there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
