I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Randomize
