I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
I stole a fireplace last night.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
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