She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
if only i could text you this smell
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
Randomize
