So drunk, too bad you don't want this
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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