too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
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