Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
Randomize
