We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
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