So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
He is an equal opportunity slut.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
Randomize